I do not think that counselling would help your husband as people with dementia do not always remember what is being discussed. Also a lack of empathy is common so he will just not understand your point of view.
If you were to delete itunes from the computer it might make your husband angry but it might be worth a try. I think, though, that you would be better off wearing headphones if that helps to reduce the noise, it would not be rude at all.
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